Traveling Solo

I don’t have to ignore the urge to travel anymore. The circumstances that got in the way before simply aren’t there. There is no longer a husband to stay home for or to feel guilty about leaving behind. I no longer am running a Bed and Breakfast, but rather subsist on 6 annual rentals which do not require my day to day presence. I traded in the old gas guzzling pickup truck for a new economical Honda Fit. And even more important than these reasons, I no longer seem to have the feeling that I shouldn’t be spending the money. (When times get tough, the tough get going……or something like that!)

Traveling alone has been a fantasy I have held for quite some time. And once I got past the fear of loneliness, vulnerability, flat tires, and getting lost, the thought of being “out there” on my own, has turned into excitement and suspense!

Without someone else to consult and without their wellbeing, wants, dislikes, rhythms and expectations to contend with, solo travel should be easier in some ways. I get to go where I want, when I want, and have only my own comfort level to satisfy. I’ll eat when I’m hungry and stop when I need a break. I’ll choose my own direction. I’ll be able to wander and walk and sit as the spirit moves me without regard for another’s energy or lack there of. Jealous? In any case, I will let you know if this idealized vision of solo travel will indeed be the case.

I am neither particularly brave nor foolish. Although now, 8 months after the final divorce decree, I am pleased to find that the perpetual knot in my stomach has subsided (for the most part) and I seem to be dealing with day to day issues and problems with a degree of competence. Only a few months ago, I wasn’t sure that I could make it on my own, in life I mean, but I have and I now feel reasonably sure that I will. This new found confidence hopefully will serve me well down the road.

Men may be better at heading out on their own, having been raised, I think, to be more independent, strong, taught to kill spiders and go into bars by themselves. They seem to intuitively know how to change a tire or read a GPS. Women are raised to make a home and be protected by their man! At least my generation of women were.

So we will see how it goes for this newly divorced grandma.

Consider this: This past week, enjoying an excursion with friends, our small craft, having drifted too close to shore and the overhanging branches, was suddenly inundated with what seemed like a million long legged spiders crawling everywhere. I want you to know that I didn’t abandon ship. I killed at least a few dozen of those critters with a flip-flop. Woohoo!