At 6:30 AM I hit the road yesterday, driving north.
It takes me at least getting out of Florida and then some before my mind settles down. So the first half of yesterday was dealing with uncontrolled thoughts that changed every minute going from an irrelevant intrusion of memories to anticipation of the future and emotions that quickly go from doubt, to joy to fear, to love, to contemplative serious quiet. It amazes me how suddenly they change, in seconds. A song on the radio or nothing at all and a new mood is served up. a Whoop! a tear! a laugh!
By afternoon the thinking rush was over and I could relax and enjoy the trip. The traffic was very heavy and a rain storm slowed things a bit and my progress was not as I expected, but it really didn't matter. I was on the road over 11 hours (with stops for peaches and pecans) and was past ready to stop for the day at 6:00 PM. I had a surprisingly hard time finding a motel. There just didn't seem to be any during the last slow hour of my drive. I was no longer on the interstate. But here I am somewhere in north Georgia in a very nice Best Western.
Life is good today.
Coffee, a great shower, a soft king size many pillowed bed, AC, TV, WiFi, U! Cool!
I am really just trying to learn to enjoy Right Now, without interruption from yesterday or tomorrow. Right now is really fine.
Jan
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The day after tomorrow.
The day after tomorrow I will be on the road again. I am planning to be gone about one month this time.
I'm ready. The clothes are washed, bills paid, the car's oil changed, the bushes trimmed and someone in place to collect the mail.
Reunions are on the itinerary this trip. I will tell you more about those as they occur.
At the end of my last big road trip I had been divorced exactly one year. This time it will be exactly two. It's hard to imagine that much time has past, and yet so much has happened that's makes it seem longer. I am having a hard time getting a picture of what is yet to be. In another two years, I will be 65, yikes!, and that's all I know for sure.
As I alluded to in the preceeding post, I have met someone very special. I can't begin to figure out why we, why any two, connect, but we do. We just do. Still, I guess I am a bit hesitant about how to proceed and am wondering where the relationship will take us. Right now it's wonderful to have him in my life. My mind, though, is searching for pertinent personal information and past experiences to assist me in this new relationship, so I have some basis to predict and respond, but there are no comparables. Much like the GPS I traveled with last year, my personal navigation system isn't working. I'm just moving forward letting fate and the universe lead the way. I was 22 the last time I started a serious relationship. Starting one at 63 isn't even in the same ballpark. At 22 everything was new. The future stretched out endlessly in front of us. We didn't have much in the way of baggage or preferences. I now have 40 additional years of life's events and and less time before me than behind. I don't know if that means be more careful or be more impulsive! I am trying to get comfortable with not knowing the answer to that.
One thing I do know is that someone is thinking especially of me and waiting for me and that makes being gone feel different this time around. And it gives me something to contemplate down the road. And someone to miss.
So anyway, here I am now and soon I will be someplace else.
Talk to ya when I get there!
I'm ready. The clothes are washed, bills paid, the car's oil changed, the bushes trimmed and someone in place to collect the mail.
Reunions are on the itinerary this trip. I will tell you more about those as they occur.
At the end of my last big road trip I had been divorced exactly one year. This time it will be exactly two. It's hard to imagine that much time has past, and yet so much has happened that's makes it seem longer. I am having a hard time getting a picture of what is yet to be. In another two years, I will be 65, yikes!, and that's all I know for sure.
As I alluded to in the preceeding post, I have met someone very special. I can't begin to figure out why we, why any two, connect, but we do. We just do. Still, I guess I am a bit hesitant about how to proceed and am wondering where the relationship will take us. Right now it's wonderful to have him in my life. My mind, though, is searching for pertinent personal information and past experiences to assist me in this new relationship, so I have some basis to predict and respond, but there are no comparables. Much like the GPS I traveled with last year, my personal navigation system isn't working. I'm just moving forward letting fate and the universe lead the way. I was 22 the last time I started a serious relationship. Starting one at 63 isn't even in the same ballpark. At 22 everything was new. The future stretched out endlessly in front of us. We didn't have much in the way of baggage or preferences. I now have 40 additional years of life's events and and less time before me than behind. I don't know if that means be more careful or be more impulsive! I am trying to get comfortable with not knowing the answer to that.
One thing I do know is that someone is thinking especially of me and waiting for me and that makes being gone feel different this time around. And it gives me something to contemplate down the road. And someone to miss.
So anyway, here I am now and soon I will be someplace else.
Talk to ya when I get there!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Free Falling
I think my life has taken so many twists and turns throughout the last few years that I am getting dizzy. Occasionally I find myself climbing a mountain, and then coasting down only to find a raging river at the bottom and there is nothing I can do but fall in and keep my head above water. It's exhausting! But I have the option of seeing the adventure in it all and rising to the challenge or seeing it as a struggle and getting weary. Let's raise our glasses to the adventure!
These days, it's the Internet dating thing, but I am taking myself out of circulation after only a few months and letting myself free fall into someone's arms. Scarier than a solo trip into the big woods. The potential for personal disaster seems greater, yet...........I keep going.
Actually, I've met some cool guys, nice guys along the way. I have been pretty lucky. From the comments of others, I am thinking there are a lot of not so nice people out there. I feel protected somehow, from the game playing, weird, possessed, mean spirited, nothing like their online profile types that I hear others complain so much about. The ones who are fifty pounds heavier and twenty years older than their photo suggests. The ones who only want ONE THING. The ones who don't know at all what they want. (Well, I think I may have met one or two of those.)
Actually, ending a relationship, even a very short lived one is harder than starting one. Actually, it quickly makes starting harder, at least for me, it does.
And so it seems that my adventure movie has turned into a romantic chick flick. I can't go into details just yet, but I will try to keep you posted.
Love ya, Jan
These days, it's the Internet dating thing, but I am taking myself out of circulation after only a few months and letting myself free fall into someone's arms. Scarier than a solo trip into the big woods. The potential for personal disaster seems greater, yet...........I keep going.
Actually, I've met some cool guys, nice guys along the way. I have been pretty lucky. From the comments of others, I am thinking there are a lot of not so nice people out there. I feel protected somehow, from the game playing, weird, possessed, mean spirited, nothing like their online profile types that I hear others complain so much about. The ones who are fifty pounds heavier and twenty years older than their photo suggests. The ones who only want ONE THING. The ones who don't know at all what they want. (Well, I think I may have met one or two of those.)
Actually, ending a relationship, even a very short lived one is harder than starting one. Actually, it quickly makes starting harder, at least for me, it does.
And so it seems that my adventure movie has turned into a romantic chick flick. I can't go into details just yet, but I will try to keep you posted.
Love ya, Jan
Friday, May 28, 2010
I can't keep up!
It has been almost two months since I've posted in this blog. I have been busy. Actually not THAT busy, but somehow two months has passed with a few blinks of my eyes. I can't keep up.
The biggest thing going on, and it has been an adventure at least as good as a three month road trip, is meeting a few nice guys. After forty (gasp) years, I am dating once again.
I have this urge to have a "blast while I last," as my younger brother is fond of saying. It has created a few changes in my life style. I find myself coloring my nails, shaving my legs more often, using more expensive lotions (the kind that are supposed to soften the signs of aging!), getting a little sun, even though I know the sun is not supposed to be good for me I look better with a little tan on my arms and legs, and I am trying out Crest white strips. I am considering perfume, something I haven't used over the years, happy to just smell clean and fresh. In other words, dating is time consuming not even counting the actually date itself!
I've met nice people. I have heard stories from others of people showing up much heavier and older than expected or nothing like their online profile. (we are talking about internet dating here.) That hasn't happen to me. Everyone looked good and all conversations were quite enjoyable. I don't know what is down the dating road, so I am not even going to do any serious thinking about it. No analyzing. No particular expectations. Just enjoying the journey to new feelings and places.
And speaking of the road.I will be back on the highway next month and heading north. I am ready. Being gone will give me time once again to have serious conversations with me, myself and I. They are pretty good listeners and I could use some reflection and advice. I will not have any dates for a while! I will be attending a family reunion in Tennessee and then a 45th class reunion in Ohio and then head to the 1000 islands in NY before turning around south again.
I will be back to write more soon, but I just wanted to keep in touch.
Jan
The biggest thing going on, and it has been an adventure at least as good as a three month road trip, is meeting a few nice guys. After forty (gasp) years, I am dating once again.
I have this urge to have a "blast while I last," as my younger brother is fond of saying. It has created a few changes in my life style. I find myself coloring my nails, shaving my legs more often, using more expensive lotions (the kind that are supposed to soften the signs of aging!), getting a little sun, even though I know the sun is not supposed to be good for me I look better with a little tan on my arms and legs, and I am trying out Crest white strips. I am considering perfume, something I haven't used over the years, happy to just smell clean and fresh. In other words, dating is time consuming not even counting the actually date itself!
I've met nice people. I have heard stories from others of people showing up much heavier and older than expected or nothing like their online profile. (we are talking about internet dating here.) That hasn't happen to me. Everyone looked good and all conversations were quite enjoyable. I don't know what is down the dating road, so I am not even going to do any serious thinking about it. No analyzing. No particular expectations. Just enjoying the journey to new feelings and places.
And speaking of the road.I will be back on the highway next month and heading north. I am ready. Being gone will give me time once again to have serious conversations with me, myself and I. They are pretty good listeners and I could use some reflection and advice. I will not have any dates for a while! I will be attending a family reunion in Tennessee and then a 45th class reunion in Ohio and then head to the 1000 islands in NY before turning around south again.
I will be back to write more soon, but I just wanted to keep in touch.
Jan
Thursday, April 29, 2010
It's a date
It is almost May 1. Oh Oh! Would have been our 41 anniversary, had we stayed married. It is funny how something, in this case a date on the calendar, can bring back one of those memories I would rather forget. Tsk!
Speaking of dates. I have had a couple, thanks to eharmony! And a few phone conversations and some emailing. Putting oneself out there is hard. I am learning.
After a short while and some eharmony essay reading, I am finding that I need to update my wardrobe. My current clothes are fine for a barbecue with old friends but wrong for a date with a fellow. I have started painting my finger nails. I am considering perfumes. I have been more of the outdoor sporty type of gal before and I am trying to be a little more feminine and dare I say sexy, even if I am 63. And although I want to be myself, surely there is some flirty somebody hidden inside. Not to mention passion. A few changes in my old habits is welcoming, and I am enjoying making them and hoping to also make a better first impression, and oh, did I mention I even bought high heels and a dress, something I gave up a few years back.
Life continues to be an adventure with new roads before me all the time. There are setbacks of course, bumps, and poor signage, but I seem to be heading in the right direction, at least it seems that way.
So other than romance on my mind, I am enjoying the heat wave that finally settled into Florida bringing the sun and blue skies. As you know, this past winter was long and chilly. City events and activities have been plentiful and I have enjoyed volunteering, be it selling beer and wine or painting a rain barrel to be raffled off. Being single, I make the effort to attend these events just to be surrounded by all the terrific people who live in this town. This is a good place to be single.
Last week I went away with my friend, Donna. We went on a road trip to Savannah where we walked for hours following a self-guided tour booklet. We inhaled the southern smells of jasmine, savored fried green tomatoes, oysters, and beer, admired the huge overhanging oaks festooned with Spanish moss, and read all the historical markers in the squares of Savannah. We also walked Beaufort, SC, and spent a night on St. Simon's Island, both charming. We, throwing off any thoughts of healthy eating, started the trip with a stop at the Dairy Queen for a soft ice cream cone (which, being from Ohio, we both call frozen custard) and we ended with a cone on the long way home. Ahhhh. I think our getaway smiles will last for a while.
Next week I will head to Seattle to see the grand babies. I can't wait.
Jan
Speaking of dates. I have had a couple, thanks to eharmony! And a few phone conversations and some emailing. Putting oneself out there is hard. I am learning.
After a short while and some eharmony essay reading, I am finding that I need to update my wardrobe. My current clothes are fine for a barbecue with old friends but wrong for a date with a fellow. I have started painting my finger nails. I am considering perfumes. I have been more of the outdoor sporty type of gal before and I am trying to be a little more feminine and dare I say sexy, even if I am 63. And although I want to be myself, surely there is some flirty somebody hidden inside. Not to mention passion. A few changes in my old habits is welcoming, and I am enjoying making them and hoping to also make a better first impression, and oh, did I mention I even bought high heels and a dress, something I gave up a few years back.
Life continues to be an adventure with new roads before me all the time. There are setbacks of course, bumps, and poor signage, but I seem to be heading in the right direction, at least it seems that way.
So other than romance on my mind, I am enjoying the heat wave that finally settled into Florida bringing the sun and blue skies. As you know, this past winter was long and chilly. City events and activities have been plentiful and I have enjoyed volunteering, be it selling beer and wine or painting a rain barrel to be raffled off. Being single, I make the effort to attend these events just to be surrounded by all the terrific people who live in this town. This is a good place to be single.
Last week I went away with my friend, Donna. We went on a road trip to Savannah where we walked for hours following a self-guided tour booklet. We inhaled the southern smells of jasmine, savored fried green tomatoes, oysters, and beer, admired the huge overhanging oaks festooned with Spanish moss, and read all the historical markers in the squares of Savannah. We also walked Beaufort, SC, and spent a night on St. Simon's Island, both charming. We, throwing off any thoughts of healthy eating, started the trip with a stop at the Dairy Queen for a soft ice cream cone (which, being from Ohio, we both call frozen custard) and we ended with a cone on the long way home. Ahhhh. I think our getaway smiles will last for a while.
Next week I will head to Seattle to see the grand babies. I can't wait.
Jan
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Just checking in.
I just wanted to let my you know that I am OK.
It has been a while since I've written. I can only attribute that to being too busy and being too lazy, and while that may seem like a contradictory statement, I can assure you it can be so.
While I am not currently traveling, although I will be soon, I have embarked on a new adventure of a different sort. I am getting out there in another way, taking advantage of my single status and looking to meet someone I can share a "romantic" dinner and wine with. My picture in on eharmony.com. and while several million other people are seen there too, for me, it is a new adventure. I have no experience in the internet singles meeting singles arena, but, on a whim, I signed up.
So lest you wonder, I will tell you about my first meeting. It was absolutely wonderful. It was my first "date" in 40 years, if you don't count dinner out with a husband, and I'm not. All I was expecting was a pleasant distraction for an hour or two. I got much more. I met someone who was able to bring out long dormant feelings and lightly touch my soul. He has a way about him. I don't know where this new road will lead, but like my last big trip, it's the journey, the glory of the ride, not the destination that's important. Not a bad start on a new adventure.
And
Finally, the air is warming and the sun is shining and I can breathe easier. The cold spell has broken. The chilly weather made life a little difficult here in my home office, which, with it's high ceiling, is not suitable for cold. The heat rises where I can't get at it. Maybe I can blame it for not having written or painted much in the last few months. Cold makes me uptight.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi again. I still haven't thought of a new name for a new blog, now that I'm not 62 anymore. I will think about it . . . . . tomorrow.
Love ya,
Jan
It has been a while since I've written. I can only attribute that to being too busy and being too lazy, and while that may seem like a contradictory statement, I can assure you it can be so.
While I am not currently traveling, although I will be soon, I have embarked on a new adventure of a different sort. I am getting out there in another way, taking advantage of my single status and looking to meet someone I can share a "romantic" dinner and wine with. My picture in on eharmony.com. and while several million other people are seen there too, for me, it is a new adventure. I have no experience in the internet singles meeting singles arena, but, on a whim, I signed up.
So lest you wonder, I will tell you about my first meeting. It was absolutely wonderful. It was my first "date" in 40 years, if you don't count dinner out with a husband, and I'm not. All I was expecting was a pleasant distraction for an hour or two. I got much more. I met someone who was able to bring out long dormant feelings and lightly touch my soul. He has a way about him. I don't know where this new road will lead, but like my last big trip, it's the journey, the glory of the ride, not the destination that's important. Not a bad start on a new adventure.
And
Finally, the air is warming and the sun is shining and I can breathe easier. The cold spell has broken. The chilly weather made life a little difficult here in my home office, which, with it's high ceiling, is not suitable for cold. The heat rises where I can't get at it. Maybe I can blame it for not having written or painted much in the last few months. Cold makes me uptight.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi again. I still haven't thought of a new name for a new blog, now that I'm not 62 anymore. I will think about it . . . . . tomorrow.
Love ya,
Jan
Monday, March 1, 2010
Life 101
I have posted 100 times in this blog, "62 Years on the Road." This will be 101 and coincidentally, this month I turn 63!
I will probably need a new title to work with. Something like "63 to 64," or "Beyond 62," or maybe simply " 63 in 2010." I'll work on it.
Cold weather is getting me down. I never liked the cold when I lived up north and I still don't do well with it. It makes me crabby and tense and I find it hard to get any real work done.
So with that said, let me say this.
One nice thing about this blog is that I can be crabby, write about some stupid complaint and wine about whatever I want, feel like I told the world, then highlight and delete! It is like ranting and raving without the consequence of retribution. I can say *(^#*/!... and ain't he */(^#! and aren't they______ and just #Gr!*8;?ETC.......DELETE! What fun!!! So there, I feel better.
Marcus Aurelius said "If you are distressed by anything, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it and this you have the power to revoke at any minute." And he didn't even have a "delete" button.
Attitude is everything!
So I hate to think about yesterday when I let pesky people bother me. For a little while I got caught up in local politics, I took a stand and felt intimidated to back down, and I did, a little, and I hate to say it, but I also gossiped, just a bit, and I am mad at myself for doing it, although it wasn't really hurtful gossip, but still. Sometimes behaving human frustrates me. I would rather think I am above petty annoyances and confident of myself, and not care what people think of me, but sometimes I'm not, I'm not, and I do.
Today, my little world is better simply because I think it's better. Cool huh? To whatever extent we can, we get to choose an illusion that appeals to our current temperament, then live it and be happy. So here I am living comfortably in my funky eclectic office gallery studio close to the glorious Gulf, with plans to meet friends for breakfast and dinner and get a haircut in between. I am writing in this blog feeling quite cozy while sitting in bed this morning with a hot cup of coffee beside me and frankly, in spite of a bad economy, in spite of a faulty weather system, in spite of pesky people, and in spite of...... well there is no other "in spite of," I am pretty happy with "things." I wouldn't mind a few million in the bank, but hey, life is good just the same. And it is getting even better as I write!!!
Choose warm happy thoughts! Remember you are loved.
So far, I haven't found a tenant so that I can move and reduce chance of the close encounters. That was another resolution, to move. The sign is up, the place is listed. Patience.
I met another cool person yesterday. She's quite an accomplished artist, earning money as a nurse, getting married on the beach in two weeks and so interesting to talk to. Very creative, she has a website, and great ideas and enthusiam. We're having lunch Thursday.
I seem to meet terrific people everywhere I turn.
I will probably need a new title to work with. Something like "63 to 64," or "Beyond 62," or maybe simply " 63 in 2010." I'll work on it.
Cold weather is getting me down. I never liked the cold when I lived up north and I still don't do well with it. It makes me crabby and tense and I find it hard to get any real work done.
So with that said, let me say this.
One nice thing about this blog is that I can be crabby, write about some stupid complaint and wine about whatever I want, feel like I told the world, then highlight and delete! It is like ranting and raving without the consequence of retribution. I can say *(^#*/!... and ain't he */(^#! and aren't they______ and just #Gr!*8;?ETC.......DELETE! What fun!!! So there, I feel better.
Marcus Aurelius said "If you are distressed by anything, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it and this you have the power to revoke at any minute." And he didn't even have a "delete" button.
Attitude is everything!
So I hate to think about yesterday when I let pesky people bother me. For a little while I got caught up in local politics, I took a stand and felt intimidated to back down, and I did, a little, and I hate to say it, but I also gossiped, just a bit, and I am mad at myself for doing it, although it wasn't really hurtful gossip, but still. Sometimes behaving human frustrates me. I would rather think I am above petty annoyances and confident of myself, and not care what people think of me, but sometimes I'm not, I'm not, and I do.
Today, my little world is better simply because I think it's better. Cool huh? To whatever extent we can, we get to choose an illusion that appeals to our current temperament, then live it and be happy. So here I am living comfortably in my funky eclectic office gallery studio close to the glorious Gulf, with plans to meet friends for breakfast and dinner and get a haircut in between. I am writing in this blog feeling quite cozy while sitting in bed this morning with a hot cup of coffee beside me and frankly, in spite of a bad economy, in spite of a faulty weather system, in spite of pesky people, and in spite of...... well there is no other "in spite of," I am pretty happy with "things." I wouldn't mind a few million in the bank, but hey, life is good just the same. And it is getting even better as I write!!!
Choose warm happy thoughts! Remember you are loved.
So far, I haven't found a tenant so that I can move and reduce chance of the close encounters. That was another resolution, to move. The sign is up, the place is listed. Patience.
I met another cool person yesterday. She's quite an accomplished artist, earning money as a nurse, getting married on the beach in two weeks and so interesting to talk to. Very creative, she has a website, and great ideas and enthusiam. We're having lunch Thursday.
I seem to meet terrific people everywhere I turn.
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