I really don't want to complain, but being that we are such good friends, I think I can tell you...
Today is a bad day. On a bad day, I think about what could have been. I'm talking about the divorce again. It is still there, every other thought away. I hate that. We have to live with our choices, but whether I choose to stay in the marriage or choose to leave, tears were sure to follow.
I tell myself that I am strong and free to be me and learning to get along just fine. And I believe that. But today, I feel bad. It comes over me like a tidal wave sometimes. For no real reason. Nothing I can put my finger on. But I just feel sad.
I suppose it wouldn't be fair to complain about my ex, tell you all the gruesome details, my side of the story, or why I left. I'd like to, but not in such a public forum. Maybe one on one and then you can spread the gossip. Sometimes, I just want to share my pitiful feelings and all I want from you is that you listen. There is nothing to be done.
And I usually don't want to blog when I feel sad because I don't want to make you feel sad, but I thought, maybe it is OK that you know this time, because maybe you feel bad on occasion and you can share your feelings with me, knowing that I will understand and because I hope that by telling you, letting you know, it will help me deal with it and get happier. I think it will. I think perhaps, it already has, at least a little. Thank-you.
PS I am so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. You lift my spirit.
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I am sorry that you had a sad day, and sorrier that I wasn't available to be there for you. Unfortunately, sad days are always lurking around the corner. I think sometimes they pop up so we can take "time out" from trying to be upbeat & happy all the time. Hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteThank-you Suzi. You are one of the people that I am so incredibly lucky to have in my life, a true friend and a blessing.
ReplyDeleteSad comes and goes until we can put a lid on it for our own survival. How can it be when we know we have a great life that STILL sad comes and goes? Sheesh! Sad goes when we talk to our friends...even just a step away, it goes.
ReplyDeletePam