Hi, I haven't talked to you for a while. So it is nice to "see" you again.

It's almost the end of January and so far I have bombed big time on New Year's resolution #2. It isn't that I don't try or that I forget. It's just that my brain does its own thing. My brain seems to tell me what to think about, rather than me telling my brain what to think about. Very peculiar. And frustrating. It's like when people worry constantly even when it is obvious that worrying ruins the present moment and does nothing to improve the future! They worry anyway. The reality of my situation is that I was married for 39 years (twice as long as not married) and I haven't yet quite been able to push it out of my head and stop caring. Love and hurt don't subside easily for me. (Help! I'm being held prisoner by my past and my mind!)

I'm experimenting with meditation to overcome this troublesome situation, quiet my mind, and gain some sort of control over my thoughts. If you have never tried to meditate, you can't appreciate how the mind, when you want it to be still, becomes a fast talking news commentator/analyst/mother that doesn't need to breathe. In other words, the opposite of quiet. Wish me luck.

All this thinking of "you know what" has caused me to escalate resolution #5. Move. Out of sight! Out of mind! Yeah, I know I should have probably done this sooner, but I didn't. Add it to the long list of shoulda's, a list I need to set afloat in the Gulf of Mexico on the outgoing tide.

One problem has been this ridiculous cold weather. I have never done well in the cold. It makes me pace around, with my arms crossed over my chest and my shoulders hunched, in an attempt to keep warm. I don't think well when I make myself small like that. But I'm not sitting around either. I had out of town cousin company for a week and that was really swell. I have pulled together income tax info, painted furniture, written, cleaned and gone places. I'm busy, and.....

It's been good. I have had moments, really good moments. I have also, on occasion, been everywhere else I possibly can go emotionally. My life is such as it is right now. But better every single day. I have heard it said that as long as we are faced in the right direction, all we have to do is keep moving and we will eventually get THERE. I intend to keep moving.

A "For Rent" sign will be erected soon which needs to get results before resolution #5 becomes an option. But I am making plans for the move just the same, albeit very flexible plans. Plans that don't include when and where! Or for that matter, how! Believe it or not, plans can be made without that information.

Interesting people have stopped in the gallery lately adding to my daily enjoyment of life. I love chance encounters with cool people. I seek them out....or sometimes they must seek me out. Yesterday a 17 year old girl with a bit of a punk style about her stopped in. She is working on her GED, trying to get a job so she can stay in town when her Mom moves somewhere else. But about the time I figured she had herself pretty much together (for a 17 year old), she told me she had spent the last six weeks camping with her abusive older boyfriend, a trip that ended with a call to the police and the arrest of her boyfriend. I think 17 is tougher than 62.

I also had a Pennsylvania interior decorator who helps people with color issues stop in. She bought some of my art stuff so I was flattered. I also talked with a published poet, The Doctor in the Night (who also happens to be a cardiologist) and folks who live with bears and leopards on the upper peninsula of Michigan. These have all been excellent people to meet. Be it known that I would still love to have a chance encounter with a handsome, pleasant, 60 something, financially stable single man.

This is about as close to renewing my blogging efforts as I can get at the moment. Time moves fast and it's impossible for me to keep up. But, you know, I feel pretty good about life. Between getting up in the morning and going to bed at night, I pretty much do what I want. Not bad.

Take care of you. You're cool!