Thursday, February 23, 2012

Feb 2011 to Feb 2012.

Someone else wrote it first, but I want to say "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

It has been one year since I last wrote a post for this blog, one swift, short, long, year.

I have survived.

Next month I will be 65 years old. "62 Years on the Road" may well become "65 Years on the River", because that is where I will be spending much of my time from now on, on the St Lawrence River in upstate New York!

First, let me tell you about the past year. This is the first time since Febuary 8, 2011 that I have been inclined to blog. I have been busy and when not busy, tired.

Chemotherapy ended last May. I am doing OK. I still get once every three week intravenious infusions of Herceptin to keep the cancer cells from feeding on my hormones and I take a daily pill. My hair is growing back ever sooooooo slowllllllyyy. People tell it looks kind of cute now, but I don't believe them. But it is what it is and there is no length yet for much creativity.

In May I bought a boat. A forty foot Egg Harbor Cabin Cruiser. How's that for positive thinking? I bought the boat with Mike, my guy, my boating partner, my life partner, with whom I now live. He knows boating and he is really good at it. I have never owned a boat before, nor did much boating, but I have always loved being on or by the water. On our boat, "The Walrus", is where we will spend half the year. ("I am the Eggman, They are the Eggmen, I am the Walrus" - The Beatles)

With the help of my brother, in July we brought the boat from Maryland to the River. It cruised from the Chesapeake, north along the Atlantic, into New York Harbor, up the Hudson, across the Erie Canal, Lake Ontario, finally reaching it's summer home at a marina in Clayton, New York. It was ten adventurous days. Mike memoralized the journey with photos and captions, if anyone is interested.

We spent the rest of the summer on the river. We cruised up the Rediu Canal in Canada, visited a few Canadian ports, explored the thousand islands, and enjoyed the small town atmosphere of Clayton.

We returned home in October and have been trying to adjust to life, not quite knowing what we ought to consider normal. Mike officially retired from teaching in September although he isn't 62 yet. He spends a lot of days fixing his winter boat, moored here in Gulfport, a 36 foot motor sailer. He enjoys that. sort of thing. I moved into Mike's house and (here I stop to think for quite a while, wondering what to say next........) it is a bit of another adventure. I don't mean living with Mike, that part is easy, he is easy, I mean, it is his house, not mine, and that feels a little peculiar. Although as I just mentioned, he is easy.

Our relationship is excellent. We feel lucky lucky lucky to have found each other at this stage of our lives. I especially feel lucky to have found someone who helped me navigate the turbulent waters of last year. And I am not talking about river water. He fed me when I was too tired from Chemo to get up off the couch. He held me in his arms when I cried because my new prematurely born grandson's life was so fragile. To struggle with cancer while worried about the life of one's grandsom was not in my realm of reality, but that was what it was.

I thought those months after my divorce were the worse that life could ever hand me. As bad as that was, and it was really bad, last year's cancer and Zachary's premature birth were worse, but I think I handled it better because of the divorce. I had grown. I had gotten stronger. I learned how to get along inspite of disaster, even find a kind of peace (Between tears.)

It is hard to put the past year into a few words, these feel so inadequate, but I think I've said enough about it.

So today, here I sit, having written as much as I have the stamina to write.

I will finish by saying. Zachary is doing well and I couldn't be more grateful. I too, am doing well. Mike and I are happy. Really happy! We go sailing. We go to shows of all kinds. We take little trips and have a big one planned for May, three weeks inTuscany! Then back to the River.

As Mike says often, "it's all good."

Love and luck to everyone.

Jan