Saturday, June 6, 2009

Gone from Seattle




There was a heat wave in Seattle while I was there, 90 degrees, sunny and hot! Set a June record. This came after a winter of snow that Seattle hadn’t seen in 50 years! I heard on the news that Florida’s recent rains have finally ended the long long drought. Changing weather patterns, global warming, who knows what to expect?

The first night out after staying with my daughter was sad. I missed them. I wanted to go back and stay longer, but by evening I was already a day away. I know they have their own life to live, and a good one, at that, but I wish I could be more a part of it. But we live so far from each other. I am feeling particularly lonely tonight.

I’d like a hand to hold.

This is a new sort of feeling. Sad for a different reason. A different sort of loneliness. My tears are like my granddaughter’s, without real reason, to deal with fabricated anxiety, or just because.

I am sitting in a barely acceptable motel room maybe that’s part of it, in what feels like to me the middle of nowhere, La Grande, Oregon. La Grande sits at the foot hills of the Blue Mountains along interstate 84.

I checked out four other accommodations in town, but the one I am in was the best of the lot. At the first, the manager assured me that I could open the window for fresh air, but would probably want to close it at night so that I wouldn’t be bothered by the trains going past. At the second motel I looked at a room that had a wall to wall bed in a really tiny room that I politely turned down. At the third, I was shown a room that had a kitchen sink in the corner and badly stained carpeting. The fourth had a tiny cement block shower. I ended up at a Travelodge.

I didn’t want to camp tonight even though that was the original plan I had. I stopped at a State Park, along the Oregon Trail thinking I would camp, but the campground was right next to the interstate. Somehow listening to traffic in the middle of the night spoils the camping experience so I drove on. The sky ahead looked ominous, like rain. I saw a large streak of lightening cross the sky down the road ahead that cut through a pass between the mountains. I was too tired too deal with bad weather or more driving.

I watched the movie Michael on TV. When the dog died (and was later revived) and when Michael the angel at the end brought the lovers back together it made me cry movie tears. Felt good!

I ate two little brownie cupcakes my daughter packed in my goody box. I’m glad I had them. Comfort food!

I don’t know where I will be tomorrow night, but I hope I’ll know enough to stop when I get there. “Where I will end up only heavens knows.” I still feel like fate has taken over my life on the road, guiding me safely on my way. Except for the planned visits I am still going where I am nudged.

I miss the ocean. I hope to find a good feeling in the mountains. I am not ready to head toward home. I don’t even want to go east. But I am. I have a lot of miles between me and home but only a few between me and my past. I haven’t really slowed down yet, but I am working on it. I do miss my friends, though.

Next morning.

The rain never came. Skies are clear, both literally and figuratively.

1 comment:

  1. ah, fond memories of oregon! barely acceptable motel rooms are less of a hassle when there is someone to help you with snide comments about the rug and drapes. sorry we weren't there. miss ya, suzi and mike

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