Baggage for the Journey

I am pretty sure that everyone has some baggage that they take with them every time they travel anywhere, be it low self-esteem, guilt, financial worry, the job, children, no children, lost loves, disease, disappointments, or broken promises. It may be heavy stuff, but its packed up and taken anyway.

Me too. I will pack my divorce, my regrets, and my fears and take them on the road with me. I hope the load will lighten along the way as I discover I don't really need to carry them everywhere I go.

But as the time nears to empty the refrigerator, turn off the hot water heater and lock my front door for 3 months, I feel a little bit like I may have lost my footing at the top of a hill and I am sliding down the other side on my butt yelling woohoo! There is nothing to grap onto to slow me down. At the bottom of the hill, I imagine, is a road.

This is a journey that is being taken a little bit on a whim. Even though I have been thinking about it for a few months now, I have not gone into much detail about the roads to be traveled. I think too much planning would spoil it. I don't want to over think the whole thing. I want to figure it out and find my way as I go, much as I live my life. I don't want to be disappointed if I find myself someplace I didn't expect to be. I want to be able to just enjoy where I am, in my life as well as on the road.

We had a tour of homes last Saturday here in my town. We had ten wildly different homes on the tour, from a big fancy waterfront to a tiny hidden cottage. My Wabi Sabi (studio/gallery/office/home) served as a hospitality stop complete with a tour of my "private" loft quarters, cookies and a public restroom. I have been ambivalent about my living arrangements with my living room in a lobby and my bedroom in an office. But the people passing through seemed to think it was clever, cozy, and fun, all that one needs to be content. They even liked my "make do" kitchen. (teenie tiny refridge, microwave, hot plate, toaster oven). Most people have little intention of doing much cooking these days, anyway, which explains why the restaurants are so crowded in spite of tight economic times.

As people gave me compliments, I tried to look at my home through their eyes and I felt better about the place. I guess it is kind of funky and cute. And besides, it has a view of the Gulf. And plenty of parking! And the commercial carpeting really can withstand a lot of wear and tear.

So now I don't have to pack up my ambivalence about my home and take it with me. I will leave it in a box under the bed and take instead compliments. Better traveling companions, don't you think.